D'oh!

"Oops, haven't posted in a while. Well, I will." Three months later... "Oops, haven't posted in a while. Well, I will." Three months later...

Okay, maybe not that much time has passed between recent posts, but close. First, I want to apologize for dropping the ball on the most recent 12-Week Shape Up. I got TWO new jobs and life has been a bit hectic around here. Not only did I drop the ball in posting, I dropped it for me as well: I've gained back about 10 pounds since starting these new roles.

I hate that.


The Lesson
But I love it too, and here's why: Each time I have a setback, I learn a little more about myself. These things I learn, I'll be able to take with me in my post-surgery life. These things I learn that I will be able to take with me in my post-surgery life, they will help me to succeed.

What did I learn with this regain? That I eat out all of the time out of a place of no energy. I have no energy to cook, to shop for the things to cook, to prepare a lunch to take with me to work. None. I could blame it on my two jobs or being a single mom, but the truth is (while those things certainly have their place in eating up any spare time), the "fault" lies in being overweight and out-of-shape.

Case in point, last summer, I still had two jobs and was a single mom, but I still had an abundance of energy to exercise, go on adventures, and prepare meals. Then I fell off that healthy wagon and back to my old habits. It started so imply at first - I spent more time with my sister, and I never eat well when with her. I brushed it off as just a once-a-week thing. But then I ate out a little more at work to celebrate co-workers' new roles or departures. Then ate out a little more at home because, I don't know why. Then stopped shopping for healthy stuff altogether.

It's a slippery slope, folks.

And that's the lesson I'll take with my into my post-surgery life. For me, I can't indulge just a little, or I risk losing all of my gains. Sure, some people may be able to have a cheat day, but I can't. Carbs are quite literally my heroine; they make me feel good and make me crave more of them. And they are my gateway back into my other bad habits. Sure some folks might be able to do the moderation thing, but not me. Not with food.

The Past
As for where I've been, as I mentioned, I have TWO new roles. The first is a freelance copyediting role which pays nicely, but demands a large chunk of my free time. The second is doing absolutely everything I love to do (graphic design, writing, social media, photography, etc.) for pay. Regular pay. With benefits and amazing coworkers.

These wonderful new opportunities offset the pain of having my surgery canceled. It turns out it wasn't a contractual issue with the surgeon, it was a problem with the long-distance doctor-patient setup. In other words, the VA didn't permit THEMSELVES to do long-distance doctoring. and the really painful thing in all of this was the phone call I received at 4 PM on April 8th from the charge nurse at the surgical facility. She was asking why I didn't come for my pre-op appointments. Apparently, I was still scheduled for surgery and, in her words, "If I'd just sneaked away to WV, I could have still had the surgery."

I wept a lot over that.

The Future
But the VA is paying for me to get surgery done locally, and while it's been another round of painful delays, I'm happy to announce that on May 18th, I have my intake appointment, on May 20th, I have my appointment with my new surgeon, and provided both of those appointments go well, sometime in late June or early July, I should have my surgery.

Yesterday was the one-month anniversary of when I SHOULD have had surgery, so every day spent waiting is a hard one, but I'll get there. I just have to keep telling myself that.

In the meantime, I'm going to work on getting back to a healthier routine. On May 24th, my son goes to Georgia for his summer visit with his dad. On May 26th, I go back to work. I'll be riding my bike into work, rain or shine. And every day after work, I'll be working out in my job's on-site gym. That's 5 days a week of activity. I've also bought food to leave at work in the fridge that will supplant my daily fast food lunches (so I don't have to find the energy or time to make my lunches).

And this routine is one I'll be able to keep doing when my son is back and when he starts school, since they had a pretty major time change for his school and he won't be getting home until much later in the afternoon.

I'm excited! I've learned so much about myself over the past year, and I think everything I've learned will help me be successful post-surgery.

Now just to get the surgery. C'mon, Doc. Let's do this!